The reality of Gay
So I was just watching a documentary on Netflix called “(A)sexual” and it was on the topic of those who have no sexual interest in either sex. It was quite interesting to view another aspect of sexuality or lack there of because lets face it whether your gay straight or bisexual, your most likely having sex and base your intimate relationships on sex to some degree.
What was even more amazing was that when watching the documentary, I felt I could identify with the feeling that many asexuals do not feel like they have a place or are welcomed in to the gay community, which as much as they want to deny, thrives on sex.
In one scene it showed a group of Asexuals who had gathered in San Francisco (via the help of Aven.org a community based site to help Asexuals find voices that resonated with their own views) to be in the San Francisco pride parade. Many of them who had attended parades prior to this one spoke of feeling unwelcome and just not fitting in and were nervous about attending this one. As they walked in the parade, they handed out literature to explain asexuality and as they did many gays and lesbians were very dismissive as the sounds of house music blared drag queens strutted in pumps and gogo boys in only short shorts danced on floats flaunting their sexuality.
Watching them as they tried to inform the masses at the parade in the discomfort of feeling unwelcome, made me think of my self and the many minority men who know of and very well may act on their sexual urges for the same sex but don’t necessarily identify with the construct that is gay.
There is this common misconception that because one likes the same sex that we all fall under this rainbow umbrella where everyone loves one another and accepts them for who they are and that could not be further from the truth. Honestly, thinking about it from a heterosexual perspective just because two guys both like women doesn’t mean that they’re going to be best buds solely based on their sexual preference, that’s just ridiculous. I like many other men who may like men or both sexes don’t necessarily identify with much of gay culture and it comes off very offensive to those who do.
We as people have to realize that “Gay” has not been around forever but it’s the acts of homosexuality that have. The term gay, and rainbow symbolism as well the lambda have only been around for about 40 years and many of the stereotypes that most have come to know fit within the paradigm.